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I received an e-mail from a fellow blogger (http://dogfightatbankstown.typepad.com/blog/) a few days ago highlighting some concerns they had over my experiences/thoughts from Hills. I've been given permission to post some of it, and wanted to share with you guys to get thoughts, and especially prayer for how my beliefs are moulded on this particular topic. Some parts of the e-mail have been removed to protect the innocent (!!).

I'm writing in response to your recent blog post about your time at the Hillsong conference - where you list some of your thoughts and talk about being prayed for for your migraine. Your post caught my eye because you reported a few worrying scenarios that perhaps may lead you up the garden path despite your own personal desire to love and serve God. I was almost going to quote some of it on my blog but on reflection thought it best to contact you directly. Firstly a disclosure: in recent months I have become rather concerned about Hillsong and some of the shysters they promote - including some of those who were speaking at the conference. Having said that, I want to assure you that while I am very critical of some Christian leaders, I don't extend that to those who may not be aware how much their "teaching" deviates from mainsteam orthodox Christianity. Which means I am not having a go at you. At the same time I don't want to criticise your new friends, nor am I saying in anyway you should distance yourself from them. I am just aware, having been nineteen once myself - and I became a Christian just before that with no real Christian background - that it's a time when you are coming into your own as an adult, and you look more to your friends and peers for advice and guidance as you begin to work your own way through life. But unfortunately (and apologies if I start sounding like a parent) at that age, when everything is still new and fresh and exciting and scary it is what you and your friends don't know which is usually more dangerous than what you do know. So I just want to let you know that your friend Lisa was very good to pray for you about your headache ...... But she was wrong and misleading to start rebuking Satan or casting demons out of you if that is what she did. Don't get me wrong, there are such spiritual entities as demons but you do not need to fear them and nor are they the cause of your migraines or illness. Unfortunately many use scriptures out of context to justify this sort of nonsense, forgetting too to look at what the rest of Scripture also says.Secondly, while we know Christ, there is no guarantee or promise that we will not suffer or be ill in this life. This does not mean we cannot turn to Him in prayer for healing - but there is no promise of healing, not in this life. This does not obviate our desire and obligation to help alleviate suffering if it is in the form of medical illness - by advancing the cause of medicine, health care, social welfare etc - nor does it mean that God doesn't graciously heal us sometimes miraculously. But its the rare exception not the rule. And what many Christians forget is that sometimes we will be called to suffer in various ways, and for some (and here I am not saying you or your migraine) that will also mean enduring chronic illnesses or diseases.But the sort of teaching that is promulgated by Hillsong, many of the speakers at the conference, and many others in pentecostal/charismatic circles is that
there is something wrong with you if you get sick (you must be sinning!!! you are being oppressed by the Devil) and/or
you have a right to expect healing if you pray for it.
And usually, if you are not healed, they falsely insinuate that it is because you don't have enough faith. All of that is garbage of course and has sometimes had tragic results - where for example children have died because their parents have not taken children to doctors under their mistaken belief Jesus will cure them. Or the false hope peddled by charatans like Benny Hinn and one Rheinhard Bonnke whom you probably saw.. We don't have faith in our faith. We have faith in Jesus Christ. He is the author and finisher of our faith. Subject and object.So the revelation you had about healing - which I think is understandable given your experience - is actually not quite right. Yes in some sense sickness and illness is part of our fallen state, our broken relationship with God, but while we who are now united with Christ by faith can begin to live out the New Life, the resurrection life here, now, we are in this "now and not yet" where we will still experience sickness, ill health.

I honestly and truely appreciate this persons willingness to take time out to e-mail some random they know nothing about, simply because they read some things that concerned them, and I let them know this. A lot of what this person said made sense to me, and cleared up a few of my "I don't feel quite right about this" thoughts that I had over the Hillsong week.
Since receiving the e-mail, I've had a few moments of discouragment and just plain frustration. I realised that I am at a stage where I am going to take any information that may seem possibly correct (and some fellow christians believe) as truth and grab onto it and name it my belief, simply so that I can add to 'things I know'. This is not a good thing. I understand that we are always going to be challenged in our various beliefs and we will never truely know the Heart of God or what He is about until we meet Him face to face. And the not knowing? That is what is so precious about faith.
But I feel like I am not knowing a whoooole lot. I don't want to feel stupid or unknowledgable and while I am okay with seeking the truth and having people help me, sometimes I just wish I was a Christian who knew what they believed and were confident in it.
But none of this is important. What is important is that I take what God is trying to teach and tell me from this. Which I think is just to keep prayerfully seeking. To understand that not everything I hear from Christians is going to be the truth, and I need to delve into the Word to help me understand Christ's position. And that as long as I keep seeking the true heart of my Father and let this be my number one desire, God will use me and bless me and teach me.

So back to the matter at hand...what do you guys think about the healing thing? The blogger has listed some books that I may be interested in, so the next time I'm at Word or Koorong, I will most definitely be having a look.

Thoughts and prayers appreciated.