Home?

Ahh I am tired. This is where Beth learns that staying up til 4am is not a good idea, even if it may seem like it at the time!
I'm looking after my precious (Jack) tonight :) Seriously, when I get far too ahead of myself or too caught up in life; I just need to spend a few hours with him and he reminds me of how simple it all is :) Pretty good for a nine month old.
Unfortunatly, he will go home tomorrow and a few hours later, I will be back all tangled up in the web of life. I think there should be a rule, that lessons that have been learnt need to STAY learnt. I mean it's not as if we are ever going to learn everything we need to know anyway...so can't we just remember the stuff we DO actually learn?
And I'm ranting.
I'm getting sick. Just like everyone else. Thanks J. So the plan is to go to bed relatively early tonight, and I'm reasonably sure it will happen considering I am half falling asleep at this very moment! Oh yeah, I'm talented people. Posting a blog AND falling asleep? Multi-tasking is my middle name (shush tony).

So I need to get into this finding a church thing. It's nearly been two years. Ugh...that doesn't make me feel so good. Yes, I would be a lot more dissapointed in myself if for the previous two years, I had had the spritual maturity that I do now. But the majority of those two years were spent either at my ex's church not focusing on the fact that I needed a church of my own, or visiting friends churchs regularly that can't be called home because they are too far away ;)
God is nudging my heart though, and growing a desire for a church of my own. Even without the desire, it's still vitally important. Because of how shy I've been (can you imagine?! :P) I have never wanted to play any sort of role in a church other than the sitter-backerer. Now...I desperatly want to get in there and be involved and serve. My heart desires a church to call home, and a church to serve my God in.
That is pretty cool.
So I guess I need to be open now, and let the Lord direct me to where he wants me. This is the bit I struggle with.
1. because I don't like visiting churches by myself. I will tend to take Thomas with me, but lately he's been busy so that hasn't been happening. So I just say we'll do it next week...and head to Sale :P Come on Beth...you are a big girl now, and can do things by yourself. Indeed.
2. I haven't had much experience in letting God lead me to a specific location. I know it's not difficult and I know what I need to do and I know that God will be pleased with me and bless me once I give the steering wheel over to Him. I know, I know, I know. I now need to do, do, do.
And so I will let this passion for a church and this desire to please my Heavenly Father rule my actions and thoughts instead of my fear and blatant laziness. Yes sirree, that is what I will do.

Now that I've written it, there's no backing out.